At the risk of becoming repetitive, I have another interesting (dare I say entertaining?) email correspondence with a lady I recently corresponded with on match.com
I have always felt that one of the most important things about your profile is to be entirely truthful. Especially about the stuff that matters. Some things are just not negotiable. For most tall women a guy HAS to be taller than her, in heels. If she is 5-10 you damn well better be at least 6-1. If you have kids, especially young ones, you need to mention it. If you like Country music (shudder) it’s best you be honest about your affliction.
While most women won’t take the first step in initiating contact even online this one did. Her first email seems good enough.
If you read my profile, you will see that I crack myself up.
I love your list! I did get to the bottom, curiosity is a good thing. Curiosity is a great tool to get others to want what you have. It worked.
If you want to know more about me, feel free to e-mail me. I might be busy changing my profile to a list, but I will come back on line when I am finished with my 83 reasons.
She followed all the right rules of a first contact email, short, upbeat, complimentary and interested. After reviewing her profile I find that the photos are attractive and I see no deal breakers. One of those deal breakers, for me, is “married” or “separated”. Meaning that unless you are divorced or single I will not be “the other man.” Mostly because two people in a relationship is plenty for me. Three is just too much to handle, no matter how consensual. Yeah I know Too Much Information. But it’s relevant.
And just to be clear match.com gives you a place in the profile to select your marital status
Select your relationship status
you are from, family, friends, hobbies, etc. And we can take it from
there.”
Unlike most women she responds at length. Five or six paragraphs of details on her life. That is usually a good sign. Ability and willingness to write shows interest and intelligence. One thing though, the first paragraph seems to indicate that her living situation is a bit unusual.
List # 1. Still live in same home as x. Waiting for school year to end as to not screw their school up-summer will be good adjustment period. Will be looking and moving to new place-x is keeping house. Kids 50/50 time with me. Looking forward to my own space-scared at the same time.
Does that mean what I think it means? She is still living with her ex-husband? So I ask, just to be clear.
Ummmm… Let me make sure I understand. You are still living in the same house with your husband? Are you actually divorced yet?
She responds.
No, the divorce will be final next month. How stange are we? We are not strange, just realistic after 16 years. I am even helping him with his profile-we are so moving on and just wanting our children to see that everything will be ok.
I assume that she means that she is helping her soon to be ex-husband with his match.com profile. Well at the very least it is good to see an amicable divorce that is actually amicable.
Bu then there is that little thing about her not being divorced and still living with her soon to be ex-husband. Did I mention my aversion to being “the other man?” It’s probably not the attitude of all (or even most) men, but it is how I feel.
Thinking that I may have missed something in her profile, which I sometimes do, I go back and have a look. As I recall I don’t see an answer for relationship status. And it is possible to bypass that question by not touching that drop-down menu (above). While I was writing this I went back to her profile and got a screen shot. Now it clearly states “divorced” circled in red. Well get to the rest in a minute.
A selection from her profile
So then you didn’t answer that part of the match.com profile where it asks for marital status. Your choice.
I choose to not date women who are not yet divorced and are not still living in the same house as their soon to be ex husband.
You seem like a lovely lady but until the ink is dry on your divorce and you are living on your own and have been on your own for a while we will not be getting together.
best of luck in your search
Can you see the annoyance dripping off the screen? And of course an email like that requires a response, right? She does not disappoint.
FYI, Our home is large enough that we live in seperate parts of our house and meet in the middle with the children.
Indeed it is my choice to answer “divorced” pending ink being dry.
Not interested in the future, thanks for the chat.
She sounds upset, or at the very least annoyed. Being highly amused by the whole thing I send it on to a friend. She responds.
You, my friend, are just TOOOOO much. This is literally the best piece of
real, live idiocy that I have encountered in a while. I am still laughing thinking about what SHE said, and of course, your attempts to be politically correct, yet clear. Very clear. I don’t know about you, but I’m constantly surprised about my amazement that other people can be so obtuse.Not interested in the future, eh? That is painfully obvious.
OK so she feels that she is in a place where she can start dating. And, no doubt, she will find men that have no problem with her current living situation. But something tells me that most of those men might be interested in one thing: a quick shag. Even the horniest least scrupulous of men are going to realize that a woman who is (one) not divorced yet, (two) still living with her husband and (three) caring for a couple of small children (shown in her pictures) has no realistic relationship potential.
Read that part of her profile outlined in blue. Something tells me she has been attracting just the kind of man that an almost divorced woman still living with her husband and two small children would naturally attract on an online dating site: horny assholes looking for sex.
So if you approach it right online dating can provide you with more than an opportunity for meeting The One. It will provide entertainment.
More strange dating emails here